Post by Scraith on Oct 12, 2006 18:39:25 GMT -5
Here's part one of this story that I started writing a while ago and only just now thought to look at again and edit and figured I might as well post. The first in what I'd planned to be a series of stories written about things happening in the lives of three of my close friends and I, based solely upon something very simple that happened. The situations aren't actually real, but they're based on wondering whether or not they might be, hence the title. I'm not sure what else I'll do with that idea now though...
Next parts to this will be posted here as I write/edit them (I have another part that follows this that needs editing.)
We four are Seth, Kyla, Amy, and John, although I'm not saying who I am
Enough rambling, here's part one. Constructive criticism welcome, as well as typo correction. I'm too stunned to fix them all, I'm off to bed now.
Is This How It Is? Part One; Amy's P.O.V
It’s a rainy Saturday evening. The kitchen is dark; I’m not sure why we didn’t turn the lights on. Kyla and I are here eating peanut butter sandwiches at the kitchen table here and talking. We’ve been sitting around on the computer in our pyjamas all day, and aside from a big bag of chips that we shared and Kraft Dinner, this is all we’ve eaten today. Oh well.
“You know this whole thing about Seth being emo?” Kyla asks.
“Yeah.”
“Well, you know why I say that? It’s not really just because he tends to act like an emo kid.” We laughed a bit, and then she continued. “It’s sort of, for me anyway, like I’m just afraid. I blow it all off as him just being ‘emo’ because I’m afraid that it’s something serious, and I don’t want to believe that because I’m afraid something terrible will happen…” She bit her thumb and stared out the window at the rain falling.
“I’m not really afraid, “ I said.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, did I tell you about this?” I flicked at one of my bracelets. “The promise?”
Kyla shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”
I explained. “When Seth and I started going out again, we were talking, and I asked him to promise me something. ‘What is it?’ he asked. I said, ‘Promise me you’ll never attempt suicide.’ He promised, and then asked me to promise something – that I’d never intentionally hurt myself. I agreed to that. And I made this bracelet later that day to remind me of the promise. Black and blue, which – “
“His favorite colors,” Kyla cut in.
“Yeah. With white thrown in, just…because.”
“To make it look pretty!”
“Yeah.” We giggled.
Kyla turned back to look out the window again. “I’m just paranoid, you know, with all this stuff with David that’s happened…”
As she continued staring out at the raindrops, chewing on her thumb, I couldn’t help but wonder. Does she care more about Seth than I think she does? It could very well be just her paranoia. With her friend David almost having killed himself numerous times and ending up in a psych ward for a while, plus her fear when she and Seth broke up in January…Add that to the near-suicide a couple months ago, and her general fears of everything that she’s had…But still. She seems to be really concerned about him. And I’m not sure it isn’t just because he’s a close friend of hers. That could be just me being weird, though.
“Of course, with that whole situation, I’ve realized that there’s not a whole lot I can do with a nihilistic Neo-Nazi-ish teenager who’s crazy depressed. I know that we’re pretty much screwed when it comes to that.”
“Yeah…”
She turned away from the window and then ended up changing the subject, though it wasn’t far from what we were just talking about. “They won’t go away,” she said with a chuckle and a shake of her head. She was referring to the still-somewhat-pink scars on her left wrist that she'd been hiding with wristbands since September, though then they weren't just scars. “They’ve been there since January and they still haven’t faded that well.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“There’s this big scar I have on my knee from June, it’s still pretty pink. Wiped out on gravel while running with my friend's dog.”
“Ouch.”
We soon finished our sandwiches, Kyla having given her last quarter to the two dogs to help her finish up faster. I had to go take a bath then, so I told her to go upstairs and finish the movie we were working on while I was getting washed.
“Okay,” she said, running up the stairs, “See ya later!”
I went off to the bathroom and turned on the water, then undressed and stepped into the bath. As I sunk into the warm water, I started to think again.
Why does Kyla seem so concerned?She didn’t really seem to reassured by the promise thing I told her about…Though didn’t she say something once about these contracts? I think she talked about these contracts that David had to sign once, from his therapists. Something like, he wouldn’t attempt suicide between then and the next meeting…Maybe she looks at this promise thing like that.Something that could easily be broken and nobody could do anything about it because they’d be dead…I shuddered at that thought. But then again, that was David. This is Seth. David and his therapist are different than Seth and I.Seth really likes me…Probably loves, whatever…I stopped suddenly. What if there’s someone else?Maybe he likes me but still likes someone else, but hasn’t told me…Well, obviously he wouldn’t really tell me about something like that for a while. He’d probably just wait a while and then wait for it to go away and then tell me later about it… Unless it didn’t go away… Oh damn.
Maybe he likes Kyla? Kind of? Still? Even after they broke up and he went out with me and then almost killed himself some time after we broke up and then we got back together again? Wow, that sounds confusing…But maybe it’s true. Even though he’s absolutely crazy about me (and vice versa), maybe there’s still a bit of something for Kyla...It’s probably nothing big, though. He’ll get over that eventually.
But what about Kyla? This was confusing. Kyla couldn’t like Seth again, could she? I didn’t really think it was possible. Her and John had just started going out last night, and as far as I knew, she adored him. But maybe…
Oh, whatever, Amy. You’re just being strange again. I finished washing and pulled the plug.
After drying off and getting dressed, I hopped up the stairs to join Kyla again, pushing all thoughts about her and Seth out of my mind. It’s definitely nothing.
So then it was Sunday. I was home from church and sitting at my computer, as usual, and talking to Seth and Kyla, among other people, on MSN.
“Listen, this may sound weird, but I just need to ask you something,” Seth said. Uh oh. “There’s this dance going on that my friend Maddy wants to go to, but her boyfriend’s too old to be let in. So she was wondering if I could go with her. If it’s okay with you, of course. If you don’t want me to go with her it’ll be fine. We’re really just friends! She just wants someone to go with.”
What the hell? What was I supposed to say? I posted that part of the conversation into Kyla’s window.
“Hmm,” she said. “That’s pretty weird.”
“Yeah I know. What should I say?”
“Dunno…”
Helpful.
A few minutes later, I messaged Kyla again. “Seth apologizes so much that I can’t help wondering if he means it or not.”
“I see.” Confused face emoticon.
God, this is all so weird. I really wonder sometimes. What is going on?
I’d continued talking to Seth and Kyla but was just sitting there, thinking. I wonder if Kyla thinks that Seth might like her still. I wonder if she likes him still. I wonder if Seth thinks that she likes him still. Or he thinks that she thinks that he likes her still. Or…Gah. This is messed up. I don’t understand…
Then again, if he likes Kyla still, why’s he going to this dance with Maddy? Wait. Why’s he even going to a dance? I sighed. I do not understand this.
Next parts to this will be posted here as I write/edit them (I have another part that follows this that needs editing.)
We four are Seth, Kyla, Amy, and John, although I'm not saying who I am
Enough rambling, here's part one. Constructive criticism welcome, as well as typo correction. I'm too stunned to fix them all, I'm off to bed now.
Is This How It Is? Part One; Amy's P.O.V
It’s a rainy Saturday evening. The kitchen is dark; I’m not sure why we didn’t turn the lights on. Kyla and I are here eating peanut butter sandwiches at the kitchen table here and talking. We’ve been sitting around on the computer in our pyjamas all day, and aside from a big bag of chips that we shared and Kraft Dinner, this is all we’ve eaten today. Oh well.
“You know this whole thing about Seth being emo?” Kyla asks.
“Yeah.”
“Well, you know why I say that? It’s not really just because he tends to act like an emo kid.” We laughed a bit, and then she continued. “It’s sort of, for me anyway, like I’m just afraid. I blow it all off as him just being ‘emo’ because I’m afraid that it’s something serious, and I don’t want to believe that because I’m afraid something terrible will happen…” She bit her thumb and stared out the window at the rain falling.
“I’m not really afraid, “ I said.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, did I tell you about this?” I flicked at one of my bracelets. “The promise?”
Kyla shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”
I explained. “When Seth and I started going out again, we were talking, and I asked him to promise me something. ‘What is it?’ he asked. I said, ‘Promise me you’ll never attempt suicide.’ He promised, and then asked me to promise something – that I’d never intentionally hurt myself. I agreed to that. And I made this bracelet later that day to remind me of the promise. Black and blue, which – “
“His favorite colors,” Kyla cut in.
“Yeah. With white thrown in, just…because.”
“To make it look pretty!”
“Yeah.” We giggled.
Kyla turned back to look out the window again. “I’m just paranoid, you know, with all this stuff with David that’s happened…”
As she continued staring out at the raindrops, chewing on her thumb, I couldn’t help but wonder. Does she care more about Seth than I think she does? It could very well be just her paranoia. With her friend David almost having killed himself numerous times and ending up in a psych ward for a while, plus her fear when she and Seth broke up in January…Add that to the near-suicide a couple months ago, and her general fears of everything that she’s had…But still. She seems to be really concerned about him. And I’m not sure it isn’t just because he’s a close friend of hers. That could be just me being weird, though.
“Of course, with that whole situation, I’ve realized that there’s not a whole lot I can do with a nihilistic Neo-Nazi-ish teenager who’s crazy depressed. I know that we’re pretty much screwed when it comes to that.”
“Yeah…”
She turned away from the window and then ended up changing the subject, though it wasn’t far from what we were just talking about. “They won’t go away,” she said with a chuckle and a shake of her head. She was referring to the still-somewhat-pink scars on her left wrist that she'd been hiding with wristbands since September, though then they weren't just scars. “They’ve been there since January and they still haven’t faded that well.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“There’s this big scar I have on my knee from June, it’s still pretty pink. Wiped out on gravel while running with my friend's dog.”
“Ouch.”
We soon finished our sandwiches, Kyla having given her last quarter to the two dogs to help her finish up faster. I had to go take a bath then, so I told her to go upstairs and finish the movie we were working on while I was getting washed.
“Okay,” she said, running up the stairs, “See ya later!”
I went off to the bathroom and turned on the water, then undressed and stepped into the bath. As I sunk into the warm water, I started to think again.
Why does Kyla seem so concerned?She didn’t really seem to reassured by the promise thing I told her about…Though didn’t she say something once about these contracts? I think she talked about these contracts that David had to sign once, from his therapists. Something like, he wouldn’t attempt suicide between then and the next meeting…Maybe she looks at this promise thing like that.Something that could easily be broken and nobody could do anything about it because they’d be dead…I shuddered at that thought. But then again, that was David. This is Seth. David and his therapist are different than Seth and I.Seth really likes me…Probably loves, whatever…I stopped suddenly. What if there’s someone else?Maybe he likes me but still likes someone else, but hasn’t told me…Well, obviously he wouldn’t really tell me about something like that for a while. He’d probably just wait a while and then wait for it to go away and then tell me later about it… Unless it didn’t go away… Oh damn.
Maybe he likes Kyla? Kind of? Still? Even after they broke up and he went out with me and then almost killed himself some time after we broke up and then we got back together again? Wow, that sounds confusing…But maybe it’s true. Even though he’s absolutely crazy about me (and vice versa), maybe there’s still a bit of something for Kyla...It’s probably nothing big, though. He’ll get over that eventually.
But what about Kyla? This was confusing. Kyla couldn’t like Seth again, could she? I didn’t really think it was possible. Her and John had just started going out last night, and as far as I knew, she adored him. But maybe…
Oh, whatever, Amy. You’re just being strange again. I finished washing and pulled the plug.
After drying off and getting dressed, I hopped up the stairs to join Kyla again, pushing all thoughts about her and Seth out of my mind. It’s definitely nothing.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So then it was Sunday. I was home from church and sitting at my computer, as usual, and talking to Seth and Kyla, among other people, on MSN.
“Listen, this may sound weird, but I just need to ask you something,” Seth said. Uh oh. “There’s this dance going on that my friend Maddy wants to go to, but her boyfriend’s too old to be let in. So she was wondering if I could go with her. If it’s okay with you, of course. If you don’t want me to go with her it’ll be fine. We’re really just friends! She just wants someone to go with.”
What the hell? What was I supposed to say? I posted that part of the conversation into Kyla’s window.
“Hmm,” she said. “That’s pretty weird.”
“Yeah I know. What should I say?”
“Dunno…”
Helpful.
A few minutes later, I messaged Kyla again. “Seth apologizes so much that I can’t help wondering if he means it or not.”
“I see.” Confused face emoticon.
God, this is all so weird. I really wonder sometimes. What is going on?
I’d continued talking to Seth and Kyla but was just sitting there, thinking. I wonder if Kyla thinks that Seth might like her still. I wonder if she likes him still. I wonder if Seth thinks that she likes him still. Or he thinks that she thinks that he likes her still. Or…Gah. This is messed up. I don’t understand…
Then again, if he likes Kyla still, why’s he going to this dance with Maddy? Wait. Why’s he even going to a dance? I sighed. I do not understand this.