Post by Suzi on Aug 11, 2005 12:55:57 GMT -5
Heartbreak
“HARRY NO” Hermione was wakened by her own scream. She was curled up in her bed at the Burrow and tears were soaking her pillow. She shook uncontrollably. Ginny leapt out of bed and went over. She took Hermione’s hand and sat there until the hysterical sobs went quiet.
“It’s okay” she said quietly “Calm down” Hermione took a deep breathe.
“I can’t believe he’s dead.” she said hysterically. “he can’t be dead.” She jumped off the bed and went to get dressed. She ran from the room. Ginny knew where she was going. Every morning since they had come to the Burrow, Hermione had woken and run upstairs to Rons room to find Harry. Most mornings, she would stop half way up, remembering that Harry was not there. Then she would sit down on the stairs and weep until someone came and coaxed her to go and get some breakfast. That morning however, she went straight up to Ron’s room. Ginny heard her hammering at the door and screaming Harry’s name. She hurried upstairs, but Hermione ran past her on the way downstairs. Ginny followed her and saw her run out of the kitchen door. Mrs Weasley looked up.
“Poor Hermione” she said sympathetically. “She’s not coping. I think we should send her somewhere away from memories before she goes completely mad.”
Mrs Weasley arranged for Hermione to go and stay with a distant relative of hers who lived in the country. Three days later, Hermione stood in the kitchen at the Burrow with a suitcase. She hugged Mrs Weasley and Ginny and then after a slight hesitation, hugged Ron too. Ron hugged her back, his face bearing many signs of the loss he had felt in Harry’s death. Ron, who had once been full of grins and funny speeches, hardly spoke any more and very rarely smiled. When he did, his eyes remained sad and the smile looked as false and forced as it really was. He pulled away and Hermione turned to Mrs Weasley, tears clouding her eyes.
“Goodbye Mrs Weasley” she choked. “Thanks for everything”. Mrs Weasley hugged her again and then led her over to the fireplace. Hermione stepped in, taking floo powder from the jar Mrs Weasley held out. She scattered it around her and said in a voice that shook slightly.
“Kneazle Cottage”. She immediately spun out of view.
Hermione stepped out of the fireplace the find herself in a large, farmhouse kitchen. A woman at the stove turned and faced her. Although Mrs Weasley had said she was a distant relative, she had the Weasley red hair. She was slimmer and taller than Mrs Weasley though and her hair was more controlled. Hermione knew she reminded her of someone other than Mrs Weasley, but Hermione couldn’t think who.
“Hermione” said the woman in a friendly, welcoming tone. “I’m Belinda. Come and sit down.” She took Hermione’s case and led her over to the kitchen table. “I have a relative staying here just now. About your age.”
“Right” said Hermione thinking that she might be glad of the company of another girl.
“It’s my cousins son” said Belinda, making Hermione forget that idea. “I’ll just call him.” She went to the door and called “She’s here, Come and get her bags.”
There was the sound of footsteps and Hermione looked up. A horribly familiar boy entered the room.
“Malfoy” said Hermione surprised. Malfoy had obviously not known who was coming.
“You” he spat angrily and grabbed her suitcase. “Filthy Mudblood” He turned and left the kitchen. Belinda looked after him with a upset look on her face.
“I’m sorry” she said going over to Hermione.
“Never mind” said Hermione. It’s nothing new.”
“He’s going through a rough time as well” said Belinda “That’s why he’s here. Just try to keep away from him.”
That night, Hermione lay in bed watching a beam of moonlight on the ceiling of her room. She remembered the year before when she had gone to Hogsmeade with Harry. They had returned after dark and had sat by the lake watching the moonlight on the water. Hermione hid her face in the bed covers and wept as though her heart would break. Harry’s face smiled at her out of the darkness and when she opened her eyes and saw the empty room, she felt a pain beyond imagining inside her. It was not a physical pain and there was no medical cure. It was the pain of heartbreak.
The next morning, Hermione slept late. She went downstairs at about 1 o’clock in the afternoon to find Belinda making lunch and Draco sitting at the table.
“There you are!” said Belinda turning round, smiling. “Come and sit down.” Hermione went over and sat down opposite Draco.
“Er - hi” she said awkwardly
“Hello” said Malfoy, not looking up. Hermione suspected that Belinda had told him to be civil.
“Looking forward to going back to school?” she asked trying to make conversation.
“Oh sure” replied Malfoy sarcastically. Hermione looked down at her hands and sat in silence for a moment. She didn’t know what to say to Malfoy, but it was very awkward to sit in silence.
“So er - how are your parents?” she asked. The reaction was instant. Malfoy jumped up from the table and shouted at Hermione.
“DON’T MENTION MY PARENTS. DON’T EVER TALK ABOUT THEM.” He jumped up and ran from the room. Hermione was stunned. His reaction had been completely unexpected.
“I’m so sorry” said Belinda. “I should have warned you not to mention his parents.”
“What’s wrong?” asked Hermione still confused. Belinda looked at her as though she was thinking hard.
“Well “ she said after a minute “I think it would be best not to talk about it. He might tell you some time.”
That afternoon, Hermione went for a walk in the countryside around the cottage. There was a forest nearby and she headed for it. The forest was beautiful. The sunshine came through the trees and appeared to shimmer on the plants that grew at each side of the rough path. Hermione walked deeper and deeper in for about half an hour. She did not really appreciate the beauty of the forest however, as her thoughts were in an entirely different place. Harry’s face swam before her eyes, smiling down at her. Her eyes filled with tears again and she wiped them away with her sleeve. She walked on until she reached a clearing. There was a large tree trunk right in the middle and she went to sit down. Her thoughts returned to Harry and this time, she did not bother to wipe away the tears that clouded her vision and made Harry’s face seem to swim before her. Soon the tears were pouring down her cheeks and she was weeping openly.
“Granger.” Hermione jumped and turning around, saw Draco standing behind her. She hurriedly wiped her tears away and stood up. “Are you alright?” asked Draco and Hermione was surprised at how concerned he sounded.
“Yes, yes I’m fine” she said quickly and turned to go.
“Don’t be silly” said Draco “Don’t go” He put his hand on her arm and led her back to the tree trunk. They sat down. Draco looked round at Hermione. “You really miss him don’t you” he said softly. Hermione nodded and her eyes filled with tears again. She could not bring herself to look up at Draco.
“Why are you here?” she said after a moment. Draco looked down at his hands and Hermione saw his face set. “Oh I’m sorry” she said quickly “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s alright” said Draco “I might as well tell you. You’d find out soon enough I expect.” He looked up at her. “It’s my mother” he said “She was killed by - by my father” Hermione gasped. She didn’t understand.
“What do you mean?” she asked softly.
“My mother has never been able to do much as a Deatheater” said Malfoy “Voldemort didn’t think she was a very useful person.” He looked down again. “She still had to be ready to go to him at any time though and she was sick of it. She - she asked Voldemort if she may be free to do her own thing at times she was not specifically needed. She wanted more time to do things she liked doing instead of having to be at home all the time waiting for the calls to service which never came.” Draco’s shoulders shook slightly and although Hermione couldn’t see his face, she was pretty sure he was struggling to hold back tears.
“You needn’t go on if you don’t want to” she said
“I’ve started now. I might as well finish” said Malfoy “Voldemort thought she was trying to leave. He didn’t understand. He didn’t want to understand. He called for my father and gave him orders. That night, I was in the kitchen with my mother waiting for my father to come home. When he did, he had his wand ready” Draco’s shoulders were very visibly shaking at that point and Hermione saw a tear fall onto the forest floor. “HE KILLED HER!” Draco suddenly shouted, shaking uncontrollably, his face screwed up, fighting back the tears he was so ashamed of. “He never even asked her to reconsider. He just killed her.”
Hermione put her hand on Draco’s arm without meaning to. She felt helpless. She herself had been heartbroken since Harry’s death, but to see a boy like Draco Malfoy crying openly made her feel completely helpless.
“I’m so sorry” she said. It sounded so insignificant, but she could think of nothing else to say. Draco was still shaking, but his sobs had died down. “Maybe we should go back” said Hermione. The sun was sinking and already, the light coming through the trees was dimming.
“Yeah” said Draco and got up slowly.
Looking out of the kitchen window, Belinda was surprised to see Draco and Hermione walking back towards the house together. She did not say anything as they entered the kitchen, but was secretly relieved. They were both going through the same experience at the moment and to have someone nearby that knew exactly how they felt and understood was a great help. They sat down at the kitchen table together and Belinda served them their dinner. They ate in silence, but Belinda was pleased to see that they both looked slightly happier.
When the meal was finished Hermione went up to her room and got out some school books. She had holiday homework. She usually had this finished within a day or two of leaving Hogwarts, but this year Harry’s death had driven everything else out of her head. She took out her quill and a roll of parchment and got to work sitting at the large desk that had been placed in the middle of her room. She was just looking through the book for answers when there was a knock at the door.
“Come in” she called turning in her chair. The door opened and Draco came in.
“Hi” he said “I was just doing the homework. Do you think you could help me?”
“Sure” said Hermione and pulled at chair over to the table. Draco came over and sat down.
“Thanks” he said. They spent the next half hour doing homework together and gradually Hermione found it easier and easier to talk to Draco.
When their homework was done, Draco thanked Hermione again and got up to go. He stopped with his hand on the door.
“I suppose they are still here - inside us” he said, his voice shaking slightly. Hermione didn’t have to ask what he meant.
“They’re all around” she said her own voice shaking too. “Nothing can change that Draco. They’ll always be there.” Draco nodded and left.
Their friendship improved everyday for the next few weeks and gradually they were both managing to move on in their lives a bit. Hermione rarely cried now, though she still thought about Harry everyday and Draco was beginning to smile and laugh about things. Belinda, looking on was delighted. Hermione found herself enjoying Malfoy’s company more and Malfoy was becoming a much nicer person.
One morning, Malfoy woke early and went to his window to look out on the sunrise. His eyes fixed instead on a figure sitting on the bench in the garden. It was Hermione and she was crying harder than ever before. Her face was red and swollen. Malfoy ran to get dressed and ten minutes later was out in the garden going towards the bench. When he reached it, he sat down beside Hermione and touched her shoulder gently.
“Hermione what’s wrong?” he said softly and she turned.
“It’s cruel” she sobbed. “His life was cut short when he was so young. His life was just starting.” She looked down at a package in her hands. “I bought this ages ago” she sobbed “It’s his birthday today. He should have been with us at the Burrow, celebrating. He would have come of age today. He was looking forward to it so much before - before” Hermione could not bring herself to say it and broke down in tears. Draco reached out and put his arms round her. She put her head on his shoulder and cried until the tears would no longer come. Draco’s shoulder was soaking, but he didn’t care. He held her tight until her body stopped shaking and her sobs quietened. She looked up at him through red eyes and smiled weakly.
“Thank you” she said and they stood up to go back to the house.
That day was very hard for Hermione and she often thought afterwards that if it had not been for Draco’s friendship and support, she would have killed herself. He was there for her that day, giving her a shoulder to cry on and she was very grateful.
The weeks until the return to Hogwarts passed quickly after that. On the 31st of August, they both got their bags packed. Hermione was just finishing when Draco entered the room.
“Hermione” he said sounding slightly awkward. “I have something I want to give you.” Hermione went over and he held out a small package. Hermione opened it to find a picture of the two of them together. It had been taken by Belinda and was of them in the woods, sitting by a camp fire toasting marshmallows. It was in a picture frame and across the top of it were the words “Thank you for seeing me through”. Hermione didn’t know what to say. Instead she flung her arms around Draco’s neck and hugged him.
“Thank you so much” she said at last as she let go of him. He looked rather surprised, but pleased.
“It’s nothing” he said and turned to leave.
“Wait don’t go” said Hermione “I have something I want to give you. I wanted to give it to you a while ago, but well - I didn’t dare.” She held out a parcel.
“Wait” said Draco “This is Harry’s birthday present.”
“Yes” said Hermione blushing. “It was for him, but I decided I want you to have it. I changed it slightly to suit you instead” Draco hesitated for a second and then took the package from her. He opened it and the wrappings fell away to reveal something like a snow globe. Two little figures were twirling and dancing together on the snow at the bottom and more snow was falling around them. One was wearing Gryffindor robes and the other wore Slytherin robes. Across the bottom were the words “I love you Draco”. Draco stared at it then pulled Hermione towards him in a hug.
“I love you too Hermione” he said and kissed her.
Draco and Hermione decided to keep their relationship a secret when they returned to Hogwarts, at least for the time being. When Belinda took them to the station the next day, Draco hugged Hermione quickly and then went off to look for his Slytherin friends. Hermione went to look for Ron and Ginny. She found them easily, sitting in a compartment near the back of the train.
“Hermione!” exclaimed Ginny happily as Hermione opened the compartment door. “How are you?”
“Much better” said Hermione happily. “I still miss him of course, but I’m managing to move on.”
“That’s great” said Ron grinning “We missed you Hermione. It’s good to have you back.”
Hermione spent a good part of the journey telling Ron and Ginny all about the holiday. She left out the part about Malfoy being there as she felt to mention it at all was tempting fate. She altered her story to sound as though she had done all the things by herself. Ron and Ginny also had a lot to tell her. They seemed to have enjoyed their holiday though they told her several times that they had missed her. They seemed slightly sorry for her, as though she had missed a great treat. She was pleased enough to have them think that. It would stop them making too many enquiries into what she had really done.
What with telling Ron and Ginny about her holidays and hearing all about theirs, the journey passed very quickly indeed. They were soon drawing into Hogsmeade station. As they got out, they heard the now very familiar cry.
“First years this way. Over here please” Hermione turned towards the sound and ran over to Hagrid.
“It’s good to see you” she said as Ron and Ginny followed her over.
“You too Hermione” said Hagrid looking more serious than Hermione had ever seen him. “How are you – well, how are you managing?”
“I’m ok Hagrid” said Hermione though her voice was sad. She turned to see the platform almost empty. “I’d better go Hagrid” she said and rejoined the others. They made their way behind the last of the students towards where the carriages always stood. Hermione gasped and gave a small scream.
“I can see them” she said “They’re staring at me. Oh I can’t bear it.” She turned and ran back the way she had come and Ron, looking in the direction she had been, saw large, skeletal, winged horses and understood at once. Hermione, like him, could now see the Thestrals and Hermione couldn’t bear the thought that it was Harry’s death that had made this possible. He turned and looked along the platform in the direction Hermione had run, but there was no sign of her.
“What are we going to do?” Ron asked Ginny
“I think I saw her with Hagrid” said Ginny looking in the same direction as Ron. “I expect she’ll come over with the first years.” Ron nodded and they made their way towards the last carriage. Ron saw the Thestral reflected in Ginny’s eyes and shuddered. He had a good idea how Hermione was feeling.
Ron and Ginny were relieved to see Hermione come into the great hall shortly after they did. They had kept a seat for her and she came and sat down in her place.
“I’m sorry” she said shakily “But I couldn’t stand it, I came with Hagrid and the first years instead.
“It’s alright” said Ron “I knew how you felt.” Hermione smiled at him. They sat in silence for a moment and then the doors into the Great Hall swung open. A long line of first years entered and made their way up to the top of the hall behind Professor McGonagall.
Hermione allowed her mind to wander during the sorting, which did not interest her in the same way it once had. She got a slight surprise when Professor McGonagall called for silence and Professor Dumbledore stood up. Hermione felt with a pang of sorrow that he did not seem as welcoming to her as usual. In fact, nothing at Hogwarts seemed as welcoming. Everything was full of memories, making them seem hurtful and Hermione wished something she had never wished before, that she could go home. She tried to put this thought from her head however and turned her almost full attention to Dumbledore. He smiled around, but Hermione noticed that the smile was not as warm as it had once been. He had the same signs of sorrow and grief on his kind old face that hers bore. His eyes as he smiled, were not twinkling, but showed that he was feeling the pain of death.
“Welcome back” he said “To yet another year at Hogwarts. There are matters I must speak to you of before you retire to bed this evening, but I think they are best left until after the feast. For now, let us eat.”
The tables filled instantly with food and Hermione helped herself to some of the things around her. She did not take much though as she did not feel she could eat anything. She had a lump in her throat that made it almost impossible to swallow. She forced down a little, but then stopped and spent the rest of the meal trying to make it look as though she had eaten a lot so that Ginny wouldn’t be worried and make a fuss. Hermione wanted the feast to end, but as always happens when you are longing for something to pass, it dragged on and on for what seemed like hours. When it at last finished, Hermione sighed with relief and turned her attention once again to Dumbledore, hoping whatever he had to say would not take long.
“As I said” said Dumbledore “I have matters to talk to you of. The first is Harry Potter.”
Hermione caught her breathe and felt dizzy, but quickly tried to calm herself. She saw Malfoy looking over at her, a concerned look on his face. She nodded slightly to let him know she was alright and then turned back towards Dumbledore. “As you all know” continued Dumbledore “Harry Potter was involved last year in a fight against the Dark Lord and unfortunately he died. However, before he died, he did more than any man has ever done to delay the return of the Dark Lord. We owe him so much, that it is likely we will never repay him. He died fighting evil and that is a very noble deed.” Dumbledore paused and looked around. “I want to be sure, that no one forgets his bravery and so I will be putting a plaque in the entrance hall in his honour.” This idea seemed to be popular as it was greeted by applause, but Hermione couldn’t bear it any longer. She did not want to forget Harry, but the last thing she needed was to have a reminder to her of how he had died up in the Entrance Hall. She couldn’t stay there in the Great Hall any longer. She pushed back the bench, the noise sounding deafening in the silence that had fallen after the applause. She jumped up and ran from the hall, tears already leaking from her eyes. She ran out into the Entrance Hall and then outside into the darkness. She sat down on the massive front steps and felt grief wash over her like icy cold water. She jumped suddenly as the doors behind her opened again and she turned, expecting to see a teacher, sent to fetch her back and find out the meaning of her behaviour, instead, It was Draco that walked out of the doors and she was relieved to see him.
“Has he dismissed everyone?” she asked as Draco came and sat down beside her.
“No” he said “I ran out as soon as you went. I knew you’d be upset.” Hermione gave him a weak smile.
“Thanks” she said and he put his arm around her.
“We’ll stay here till you’re ready to go back” he said.
“Our cover will be blown now” said Hermione. “People will want to know why you suddenly rushed out after me. The old you would have sat laughing at me.”
“I’m not proud of it” said Draco awkwardly. “But I’ve changed now. I’m not that person anymore. I don’t want to be like my father.”
“You could never be like him” said Hermione smiling. “You’re not evil.” Draco grinned.
“Thanks” he said “Come on. Let’s go back in.”
“HARRY NO” Hermione was wakened by her own scream. She was curled up in her bed at the Burrow and tears were soaking her pillow. She shook uncontrollably. Ginny leapt out of bed and went over. She took Hermione’s hand and sat there until the hysterical sobs went quiet.
“It’s okay” she said quietly “Calm down” Hermione took a deep breathe.
“I can’t believe he’s dead.” she said hysterically. “he can’t be dead.” She jumped off the bed and went to get dressed. She ran from the room. Ginny knew where she was going. Every morning since they had come to the Burrow, Hermione had woken and run upstairs to Rons room to find Harry. Most mornings, she would stop half way up, remembering that Harry was not there. Then she would sit down on the stairs and weep until someone came and coaxed her to go and get some breakfast. That morning however, she went straight up to Ron’s room. Ginny heard her hammering at the door and screaming Harry’s name. She hurried upstairs, but Hermione ran past her on the way downstairs. Ginny followed her and saw her run out of the kitchen door. Mrs Weasley looked up.
“Poor Hermione” she said sympathetically. “She’s not coping. I think we should send her somewhere away from memories before she goes completely mad.”
Mrs Weasley arranged for Hermione to go and stay with a distant relative of hers who lived in the country. Three days later, Hermione stood in the kitchen at the Burrow with a suitcase. She hugged Mrs Weasley and Ginny and then after a slight hesitation, hugged Ron too. Ron hugged her back, his face bearing many signs of the loss he had felt in Harry’s death. Ron, who had once been full of grins and funny speeches, hardly spoke any more and very rarely smiled. When he did, his eyes remained sad and the smile looked as false and forced as it really was. He pulled away and Hermione turned to Mrs Weasley, tears clouding her eyes.
“Goodbye Mrs Weasley” she choked. “Thanks for everything”. Mrs Weasley hugged her again and then led her over to the fireplace. Hermione stepped in, taking floo powder from the jar Mrs Weasley held out. She scattered it around her and said in a voice that shook slightly.
“Kneazle Cottage”. She immediately spun out of view.
Hermione stepped out of the fireplace the find herself in a large, farmhouse kitchen. A woman at the stove turned and faced her. Although Mrs Weasley had said she was a distant relative, she had the Weasley red hair. She was slimmer and taller than Mrs Weasley though and her hair was more controlled. Hermione knew she reminded her of someone other than Mrs Weasley, but Hermione couldn’t think who.
“Hermione” said the woman in a friendly, welcoming tone. “I’m Belinda. Come and sit down.” She took Hermione’s case and led her over to the kitchen table. “I have a relative staying here just now. About your age.”
“Right” said Hermione thinking that she might be glad of the company of another girl.
“It’s my cousins son” said Belinda, making Hermione forget that idea. “I’ll just call him.” She went to the door and called “She’s here, Come and get her bags.”
There was the sound of footsteps and Hermione looked up. A horribly familiar boy entered the room.
“Malfoy” said Hermione surprised. Malfoy had obviously not known who was coming.
“You” he spat angrily and grabbed her suitcase. “Filthy Mudblood” He turned and left the kitchen. Belinda looked after him with a upset look on her face.
“I’m sorry” she said going over to Hermione.
“Never mind” said Hermione. It’s nothing new.”
“He’s going through a rough time as well” said Belinda “That’s why he’s here. Just try to keep away from him.”
That night, Hermione lay in bed watching a beam of moonlight on the ceiling of her room. She remembered the year before when she had gone to Hogsmeade with Harry. They had returned after dark and had sat by the lake watching the moonlight on the water. Hermione hid her face in the bed covers and wept as though her heart would break. Harry’s face smiled at her out of the darkness and when she opened her eyes and saw the empty room, she felt a pain beyond imagining inside her. It was not a physical pain and there was no medical cure. It was the pain of heartbreak.
The next morning, Hermione slept late. She went downstairs at about 1 o’clock in the afternoon to find Belinda making lunch and Draco sitting at the table.
“There you are!” said Belinda turning round, smiling. “Come and sit down.” Hermione went over and sat down opposite Draco.
“Er - hi” she said awkwardly
“Hello” said Malfoy, not looking up. Hermione suspected that Belinda had told him to be civil.
“Looking forward to going back to school?” she asked trying to make conversation.
“Oh sure” replied Malfoy sarcastically. Hermione looked down at her hands and sat in silence for a moment. She didn’t know what to say to Malfoy, but it was very awkward to sit in silence.
“So er - how are your parents?” she asked. The reaction was instant. Malfoy jumped up from the table and shouted at Hermione.
“DON’T MENTION MY PARENTS. DON’T EVER TALK ABOUT THEM.” He jumped up and ran from the room. Hermione was stunned. His reaction had been completely unexpected.
“I’m so sorry” said Belinda. “I should have warned you not to mention his parents.”
“What’s wrong?” asked Hermione still confused. Belinda looked at her as though she was thinking hard.
“Well “ she said after a minute “I think it would be best not to talk about it. He might tell you some time.”
That afternoon, Hermione went for a walk in the countryside around the cottage. There was a forest nearby and she headed for it. The forest was beautiful. The sunshine came through the trees and appeared to shimmer on the plants that grew at each side of the rough path. Hermione walked deeper and deeper in for about half an hour. She did not really appreciate the beauty of the forest however, as her thoughts were in an entirely different place. Harry’s face swam before her eyes, smiling down at her. Her eyes filled with tears again and she wiped them away with her sleeve. She walked on until she reached a clearing. There was a large tree trunk right in the middle and she went to sit down. Her thoughts returned to Harry and this time, she did not bother to wipe away the tears that clouded her vision and made Harry’s face seem to swim before her. Soon the tears were pouring down her cheeks and she was weeping openly.
“Granger.” Hermione jumped and turning around, saw Draco standing behind her. She hurriedly wiped her tears away and stood up. “Are you alright?” asked Draco and Hermione was surprised at how concerned he sounded.
“Yes, yes I’m fine” she said quickly and turned to go.
“Don’t be silly” said Draco “Don’t go” He put his hand on her arm and led her back to the tree trunk. They sat down. Draco looked round at Hermione. “You really miss him don’t you” he said softly. Hermione nodded and her eyes filled with tears again. She could not bring herself to look up at Draco.
“Why are you here?” she said after a moment. Draco looked down at his hands and Hermione saw his face set. “Oh I’m sorry” she said quickly “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s alright” said Draco “I might as well tell you. You’d find out soon enough I expect.” He looked up at her. “It’s my mother” he said “She was killed by - by my father” Hermione gasped. She didn’t understand.
“What do you mean?” she asked softly.
“My mother has never been able to do much as a Deatheater” said Malfoy “Voldemort didn’t think she was a very useful person.” He looked down again. “She still had to be ready to go to him at any time though and she was sick of it. She - she asked Voldemort if she may be free to do her own thing at times she was not specifically needed. She wanted more time to do things she liked doing instead of having to be at home all the time waiting for the calls to service which never came.” Draco’s shoulders shook slightly and although Hermione couldn’t see his face, she was pretty sure he was struggling to hold back tears.
“You needn’t go on if you don’t want to” she said
“I’ve started now. I might as well finish” said Malfoy “Voldemort thought she was trying to leave. He didn’t understand. He didn’t want to understand. He called for my father and gave him orders. That night, I was in the kitchen with my mother waiting for my father to come home. When he did, he had his wand ready” Draco’s shoulders were very visibly shaking at that point and Hermione saw a tear fall onto the forest floor. “HE KILLED HER!” Draco suddenly shouted, shaking uncontrollably, his face screwed up, fighting back the tears he was so ashamed of. “He never even asked her to reconsider. He just killed her.”
Hermione put her hand on Draco’s arm without meaning to. She felt helpless. She herself had been heartbroken since Harry’s death, but to see a boy like Draco Malfoy crying openly made her feel completely helpless.
“I’m so sorry” she said. It sounded so insignificant, but she could think of nothing else to say. Draco was still shaking, but his sobs had died down. “Maybe we should go back” said Hermione. The sun was sinking and already, the light coming through the trees was dimming.
“Yeah” said Draco and got up slowly.
Looking out of the kitchen window, Belinda was surprised to see Draco and Hermione walking back towards the house together. She did not say anything as they entered the kitchen, but was secretly relieved. They were both going through the same experience at the moment and to have someone nearby that knew exactly how they felt and understood was a great help. They sat down at the kitchen table together and Belinda served them their dinner. They ate in silence, but Belinda was pleased to see that they both looked slightly happier.
When the meal was finished Hermione went up to her room and got out some school books. She had holiday homework. She usually had this finished within a day or two of leaving Hogwarts, but this year Harry’s death had driven everything else out of her head. She took out her quill and a roll of parchment and got to work sitting at the large desk that had been placed in the middle of her room. She was just looking through the book for answers when there was a knock at the door.
“Come in” she called turning in her chair. The door opened and Draco came in.
“Hi” he said “I was just doing the homework. Do you think you could help me?”
“Sure” said Hermione and pulled at chair over to the table. Draco came over and sat down.
“Thanks” he said. They spent the next half hour doing homework together and gradually Hermione found it easier and easier to talk to Draco.
When their homework was done, Draco thanked Hermione again and got up to go. He stopped with his hand on the door.
“I suppose they are still here - inside us” he said, his voice shaking slightly. Hermione didn’t have to ask what he meant.
“They’re all around” she said her own voice shaking too. “Nothing can change that Draco. They’ll always be there.” Draco nodded and left.
Their friendship improved everyday for the next few weeks and gradually they were both managing to move on in their lives a bit. Hermione rarely cried now, though she still thought about Harry everyday and Draco was beginning to smile and laugh about things. Belinda, looking on was delighted. Hermione found herself enjoying Malfoy’s company more and Malfoy was becoming a much nicer person.
One morning, Malfoy woke early and went to his window to look out on the sunrise. His eyes fixed instead on a figure sitting on the bench in the garden. It was Hermione and she was crying harder than ever before. Her face was red and swollen. Malfoy ran to get dressed and ten minutes later was out in the garden going towards the bench. When he reached it, he sat down beside Hermione and touched her shoulder gently.
“Hermione what’s wrong?” he said softly and she turned.
“It’s cruel” she sobbed. “His life was cut short when he was so young. His life was just starting.” She looked down at a package in her hands. “I bought this ages ago” she sobbed “It’s his birthday today. He should have been with us at the Burrow, celebrating. He would have come of age today. He was looking forward to it so much before - before” Hermione could not bring herself to say it and broke down in tears. Draco reached out and put his arms round her. She put her head on his shoulder and cried until the tears would no longer come. Draco’s shoulder was soaking, but he didn’t care. He held her tight until her body stopped shaking and her sobs quietened. She looked up at him through red eyes and smiled weakly.
“Thank you” she said and they stood up to go back to the house.
That day was very hard for Hermione and she often thought afterwards that if it had not been for Draco’s friendship and support, she would have killed herself. He was there for her that day, giving her a shoulder to cry on and she was very grateful.
The weeks until the return to Hogwarts passed quickly after that. On the 31st of August, they both got their bags packed. Hermione was just finishing when Draco entered the room.
“Hermione” he said sounding slightly awkward. “I have something I want to give you.” Hermione went over and he held out a small package. Hermione opened it to find a picture of the two of them together. It had been taken by Belinda and was of them in the woods, sitting by a camp fire toasting marshmallows. It was in a picture frame and across the top of it were the words “Thank you for seeing me through”. Hermione didn’t know what to say. Instead she flung her arms around Draco’s neck and hugged him.
“Thank you so much” she said at last as she let go of him. He looked rather surprised, but pleased.
“It’s nothing” he said and turned to leave.
“Wait don’t go” said Hermione “I have something I want to give you. I wanted to give it to you a while ago, but well - I didn’t dare.” She held out a parcel.
“Wait” said Draco “This is Harry’s birthday present.”
“Yes” said Hermione blushing. “It was for him, but I decided I want you to have it. I changed it slightly to suit you instead” Draco hesitated for a second and then took the package from her. He opened it and the wrappings fell away to reveal something like a snow globe. Two little figures were twirling and dancing together on the snow at the bottom and more snow was falling around them. One was wearing Gryffindor robes and the other wore Slytherin robes. Across the bottom were the words “I love you Draco”. Draco stared at it then pulled Hermione towards him in a hug.
“I love you too Hermione” he said and kissed her.
Draco and Hermione decided to keep their relationship a secret when they returned to Hogwarts, at least for the time being. When Belinda took them to the station the next day, Draco hugged Hermione quickly and then went off to look for his Slytherin friends. Hermione went to look for Ron and Ginny. She found them easily, sitting in a compartment near the back of the train.
“Hermione!” exclaimed Ginny happily as Hermione opened the compartment door. “How are you?”
“Much better” said Hermione happily. “I still miss him of course, but I’m managing to move on.”
“That’s great” said Ron grinning “We missed you Hermione. It’s good to have you back.”
Hermione spent a good part of the journey telling Ron and Ginny all about the holiday. She left out the part about Malfoy being there as she felt to mention it at all was tempting fate. She altered her story to sound as though she had done all the things by herself. Ron and Ginny also had a lot to tell her. They seemed to have enjoyed their holiday though they told her several times that they had missed her. They seemed slightly sorry for her, as though she had missed a great treat. She was pleased enough to have them think that. It would stop them making too many enquiries into what she had really done.
What with telling Ron and Ginny about her holidays and hearing all about theirs, the journey passed very quickly indeed. They were soon drawing into Hogsmeade station. As they got out, they heard the now very familiar cry.
“First years this way. Over here please” Hermione turned towards the sound and ran over to Hagrid.
“It’s good to see you” she said as Ron and Ginny followed her over.
“You too Hermione” said Hagrid looking more serious than Hermione had ever seen him. “How are you – well, how are you managing?”
“I’m ok Hagrid” said Hermione though her voice was sad. She turned to see the platform almost empty. “I’d better go Hagrid” she said and rejoined the others. They made their way behind the last of the students towards where the carriages always stood. Hermione gasped and gave a small scream.
“I can see them” she said “They’re staring at me. Oh I can’t bear it.” She turned and ran back the way she had come and Ron, looking in the direction she had been, saw large, skeletal, winged horses and understood at once. Hermione, like him, could now see the Thestrals and Hermione couldn’t bear the thought that it was Harry’s death that had made this possible. He turned and looked along the platform in the direction Hermione had run, but there was no sign of her.
“What are we going to do?” Ron asked Ginny
“I think I saw her with Hagrid” said Ginny looking in the same direction as Ron. “I expect she’ll come over with the first years.” Ron nodded and they made their way towards the last carriage. Ron saw the Thestral reflected in Ginny’s eyes and shuddered. He had a good idea how Hermione was feeling.
Ron and Ginny were relieved to see Hermione come into the great hall shortly after they did. They had kept a seat for her and she came and sat down in her place.
“I’m sorry” she said shakily “But I couldn’t stand it, I came with Hagrid and the first years instead.
“It’s alright” said Ron “I knew how you felt.” Hermione smiled at him. They sat in silence for a moment and then the doors into the Great Hall swung open. A long line of first years entered and made their way up to the top of the hall behind Professor McGonagall.
Hermione allowed her mind to wander during the sorting, which did not interest her in the same way it once had. She got a slight surprise when Professor McGonagall called for silence and Professor Dumbledore stood up. Hermione felt with a pang of sorrow that he did not seem as welcoming to her as usual. In fact, nothing at Hogwarts seemed as welcoming. Everything was full of memories, making them seem hurtful and Hermione wished something she had never wished before, that she could go home. She tried to put this thought from her head however and turned her almost full attention to Dumbledore. He smiled around, but Hermione noticed that the smile was not as warm as it had once been. He had the same signs of sorrow and grief on his kind old face that hers bore. His eyes as he smiled, were not twinkling, but showed that he was feeling the pain of death.
“Welcome back” he said “To yet another year at Hogwarts. There are matters I must speak to you of before you retire to bed this evening, but I think they are best left until after the feast. For now, let us eat.”
The tables filled instantly with food and Hermione helped herself to some of the things around her. She did not take much though as she did not feel she could eat anything. She had a lump in her throat that made it almost impossible to swallow. She forced down a little, but then stopped and spent the rest of the meal trying to make it look as though she had eaten a lot so that Ginny wouldn’t be worried and make a fuss. Hermione wanted the feast to end, but as always happens when you are longing for something to pass, it dragged on and on for what seemed like hours. When it at last finished, Hermione sighed with relief and turned her attention once again to Dumbledore, hoping whatever he had to say would not take long.
“As I said” said Dumbledore “I have matters to talk to you of. The first is Harry Potter.”
Hermione caught her breathe and felt dizzy, but quickly tried to calm herself. She saw Malfoy looking over at her, a concerned look on his face. She nodded slightly to let him know she was alright and then turned back towards Dumbledore. “As you all know” continued Dumbledore “Harry Potter was involved last year in a fight against the Dark Lord and unfortunately he died. However, before he died, he did more than any man has ever done to delay the return of the Dark Lord. We owe him so much, that it is likely we will never repay him. He died fighting evil and that is a very noble deed.” Dumbledore paused and looked around. “I want to be sure, that no one forgets his bravery and so I will be putting a plaque in the entrance hall in his honour.” This idea seemed to be popular as it was greeted by applause, but Hermione couldn’t bear it any longer. She did not want to forget Harry, but the last thing she needed was to have a reminder to her of how he had died up in the Entrance Hall. She couldn’t stay there in the Great Hall any longer. She pushed back the bench, the noise sounding deafening in the silence that had fallen after the applause. She jumped up and ran from the hall, tears already leaking from her eyes. She ran out into the Entrance Hall and then outside into the darkness. She sat down on the massive front steps and felt grief wash over her like icy cold water. She jumped suddenly as the doors behind her opened again and she turned, expecting to see a teacher, sent to fetch her back and find out the meaning of her behaviour, instead, It was Draco that walked out of the doors and she was relieved to see him.
“Has he dismissed everyone?” she asked as Draco came and sat down beside her.
“No” he said “I ran out as soon as you went. I knew you’d be upset.” Hermione gave him a weak smile.
“Thanks” she said and he put his arm around her.
“We’ll stay here till you’re ready to go back” he said.
“Our cover will be blown now” said Hermione. “People will want to know why you suddenly rushed out after me. The old you would have sat laughing at me.”
“I’m not proud of it” said Draco awkwardly. “But I’ve changed now. I’m not that person anymore. I don’t want to be like my father.”
“You could never be like him” said Hermione smiling. “You’re not evil.” Draco grinned.
“Thanks” he said “Come on. Let’s go back in.”