Post by daena on Sept 4, 2005 17:52:08 GMT -5
I do not know if any of ye had ever seen the television series called Witchblade. I was addicted to the show when it came out, and was very sad to see it cancelled. At any rate, I had began a story that was based off of the show. I never finished it, but would truly like to get some feedback on what ye all think of it. Negative and positive criticism is most welcome. Do be harsh. *Grins*
Darkness had descended upon the streets of New York. In the shadows, a man sat, contemplating his fate. He would not give in so easily. Not this time. "Patience is a virtue," his mama had said. Evan had loved his mother. She had been an angel amongst men. Her death had been painful for him, agonizing to hear her screams as he thrusted the knife over and over. His heart ached to hear the sound of her voice again. Instead, the only voice that Evan heard was his own.
"Patience is a virtue, Evan."
He closed his eyes, whimpering as fear set in.
"Another girl this time...but we can wait. We can wait."
Evan looked down at his hands, horrified at the blood staining them.
------------Fade---------------
Later that day, police were swarming around a deserted field. Yellow "Do Not Cross" tape was strung up everywhere. Sara Pezzini and Danny Woo both made their way past the horde of people that now lined up against the yellow barrier. How can people be so morbid, Sara thought to herself. Death had become such a fascination for everyone of late. The two detectives flashed their badges to the officer on guard and moved into the frey of the official mayhem. The coroner, Vicky Poe, was kneeling down next to a half covered body. She shook her head as she stood up, catching sight of Danny and Sara.
"Hey Vick," Sara nodded, "What we got?"
Vicky's gaze went back to the body as she began her long list of oddities.
"Female, approximately twenty to twenty-one years of age. Naked with the exception of a single shoe. Probably hooker, though that's unconfirmed."
Sara nodded once more, moving closer to the body. "Cause of death?"
"Well," Vicky's brows furrowed slightly and she gave a glance to Danny. "Right now, I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I'd say it was a heart attack."
"Heart attack?" Danny chimed. "Someone so young?"
Vicky only nodded, looking to Sara.
"There are signs of suffocation, but not by strangulation. I'm guessing she died of fright, then was ripped to shreds."
Sara froze for a moment as the Witchblade began to stir. Danny moved closer to inspect the victim as Vicky turned to speak with an officer nearby. As Sara stood there, visions began to surface. A girl screaming in pain. Something dark...no...someONE dark growling low. The girl was running, sobbing in fear.Sara was so lost in the vision that she didn't notice Danny come up beside her. He had a concerned look on his face.
"Sara? Sara?!"
She jumped, startled back to reality.
"You ok?" Danny asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure."
She shrugged lightly and then turned, looking to Vicky.
"Hey, when you have more, call me."
Vicky nodded, going back to her investigation.
----------------FADE-------------------
Later that same evening, Sara was sitting on her fire escape, looking out over the city. She gave a glance to the Witchblade that lay dormant on her wrist.
"What are you trying to show me?" She whispered.
"Perhaps your visions are foretelling of a dark force to come."
Sara nearly jumped out of her skin, her hand moving to where she usually kept her gun. She'd forgotten that she'd taken it off to get comfortable. Ian stepped out of the shadows above her, onto the same landing she rested on. Sara gave him a cross look before finally relaxing.
"One of these days I'm gonna shoot you, Nottingham."
Ian only smiled, giving her a shrug.
"To be released from this nightmare would only be a blessing. Though I think I'd actually miss you, Sara."
She just stared dumbly at him for a minute before responding.
"Look, if there's something you came here to tell me, do it and get the hell out of here."
He didn't even wince at her cold tone. He'd grown so used to it.
"Feeling disconnected, Sara?"
His gaze trailed to her, then slowly moved to the landing. Sara only shook her head, her voice softening some.
"The Witchblade is...acting weird lately."
He nodded, holding his distance.
"And you're afraid it has deemed you unworthy?"
Ian traced a finger over the stairway railing. Sara shrugged, her voice uncertain.
"I thought I had really made a connection with this thing after...well...you know."
Ian looked to her, sensing her confusion.
"Do you believe the visions are meant to help you?" he whispered.
"Yeah. Yeah, I do," she replied.
"Then trust in them and let her lead you."
Sara was caught off guard by this.
"What?!" she exclaimed. "How did you know...about...her?"
Ian did not answer her, though he did meet her gaze. He pondered his words carefully as she sat there amazed. Sara looked down to the bracelet that adorned her wrist, startled to find the gem swirling. When she looked up, Ian was gone.
"Damn it," she muttered.
Slowly she got up and went inside.
----------------FADE------------------
Evan walked down the alley, staying in the shadows as much as possible. There were tears in his eyes as he brought his hands to his head, his voice trembling as he spoke.
"Why can't you leave me alone? I don't want to hurt anyone else."
He tripped hard, falling to the ground. Suddenly, the sound of rushing wings and laughter were all around him. Evan clamped hands over his ears, crying out in fear.
"No!" He whimpered. "No...god, please...."
The incessant flapping grew louder and louder as Evan cringed upon the ground.
"No...," he muttered again, "leave me alone!"
Then all Evan could hear was the laughter. His laughter. Cold and calculated.
----------------FADE------------------
Rachel Tomlin pulled her coat closer as she walked down the sidewalk. She’d been foolish to wait as long as she had to head for home, but she had thoroughly enjoyed the company of her brother Matt and his new wife, Marie. It had been a long afternoon for her, and the more she thought about taking a hot shower, the faster she walked. Her apartment wasn’t really that much further. The nights were getting colder, and Rachel shivered despite her jacket.
Darkness had descended upon the streets of New York. In the shadows, a man sat, contemplating his fate. He would not give in so easily. Not this time. "Patience is a virtue," his mama had said. Evan had loved his mother. She had been an angel amongst men. Her death had been painful for him, agonizing to hear her screams as he thrusted the knife over and over. His heart ached to hear the sound of her voice again. Instead, the only voice that Evan heard was his own.
"Patience is a virtue, Evan."
He closed his eyes, whimpering as fear set in.
"Another girl this time...but we can wait. We can wait."
Evan looked down at his hands, horrified at the blood staining them.
------------Fade---------------
Later that day, police were swarming around a deserted field. Yellow "Do Not Cross" tape was strung up everywhere. Sara Pezzini and Danny Woo both made their way past the horde of people that now lined up against the yellow barrier. How can people be so morbid, Sara thought to herself. Death had become such a fascination for everyone of late. The two detectives flashed their badges to the officer on guard and moved into the frey of the official mayhem. The coroner, Vicky Poe, was kneeling down next to a half covered body. She shook her head as she stood up, catching sight of Danny and Sara.
"Hey Vick," Sara nodded, "What we got?"
Vicky's gaze went back to the body as she began her long list of oddities.
"Female, approximately twenty to twenty-one years of age. Naked with the exception of a single shoe. Probably hooker, though that's unconfirmed."
Sara nodded once more, moving closer to the body. "Cause of death?"
"Well," Vicky's brows furrowed slightly and she gave a glance to Danny. "Right now, I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I'd say it was a heart attack."
"Heart attack?" Danny chimed. "Someone so young?"
Vicky only nodded, looking to Sara.
"There are signs of suffocation, but not by strangulation. I'm guessing she died of fright, then was ripped to shreds."
Sara froze for a moment as the Witchblade began to stir. Danny moved closer to inspect the victim as Vicky turned to speak with an officer nearby. As Sara stood there, visions began to surface. A girl screaming in pain. Something dark...no...someONE dark growling low. The girl was running, sobbing in fear.Sara was so lost in the vision that she didn't notice Danny come up beside her. He had a concerned look on his face.
"Sara? Sara?!"
She jumped, startled back to reality.
"You ok?" Danny asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure."
She shrugged lightly and then turned, looking to Vicky.
"Hey, when you have more, call me."
Vicky nodded, going back to her investigation.
----------------FADE-------------------
Later that same evening, Sara was sitting on her fire escape, looking out over the city. She gave a glance to the Witchblade that lay dormant on her wrist.
"What are you trying to show me?" She whispered.
"Perhaps your visions are foretelling of a dark force to come."
Sara nearly jumped out of her skin, her hand moving to where she usually kept her gun. She'd forgotten that she'd taken it off to get comfortable. Ian stepped out of the shadows above her, onto the same landing she rested on. Sara gave him a cross look before finally relaxing.
"One of these days I'm gonna shoot you, Nottingham."
Ian only smiled, giving her a shrug.
"To be released from this nightmare would only be a blessing. Though I think I'd actually miss you, Sara."
She just stared dumbly at him for a minute before responding.
"Look, if there's something you came here to tell me, do it and get the hell out of here."
He didn't even wince at her cold tone. He'd grown so used to it.
"Feeling disconnected, Sara?"
His gaze trailed to her, then slowly moved to the landing. Sara only shook her head, her voice softening some.
"The Witchblade is...acting weird lately."
He nodded, holding his distance.
"And you're afraid it has deemed you unworthy?"
Ian traced a finger over the stairway railing. Sara shrugged, her voice uncertain.
"I thought I had really made a connection with this thing after...well...you know."
Ian looked to her, sensing her confusion.
"Do you believe the visions are meant to help you?" he whispered.
"Yeah. Yeah, I do," she replied.
"Then trust in them and let her lead you."
Sara was caught off guard by this.
"What?!" she exclaimed. "How did you know...about...her?"
Ian did not answer her, though he did meet her gaze. He pondered his words carefully as she sat there amazed. Sara looked down to the bracelet that adorned her wrist, startled to find the gem swirling. When she looked up, Ian was gone.
"Damn it," she muttered.
Slowly she got up and went inside.
----------------FADE------------------
Evan walked down the alley, staying in the shadows as much as possible. There were tears in his eyes as he brought his hands to his head, his voice trembling as he spoke.
"Why can't you leave me alone? I don't want to hurt anyone else."
He tripped hard, falling to the ground. Suddenly, the sound of rushing wings and laughter were all around him. Evan clamped hands over his ears, crying out in fear.
"No!" He whimpered. "No...god, please...."
The incessant flapping grew louder and louder as Evan cringed upon the ground.
"No...," he muttered again, "leave me alone!"
Then all Evan could hear was the laughter. His laughter. Cold and calculated.
----------------FADE------------------
Rachel Tomlin pulled her coat closer as she walked down the sidewalk. She’d been foolish to wait as long as she had to head for home, but she had thoroughly enjoyed the company of her brother Matt and his new wife, Marie. It had been a long afternoon for her, and the more she thought about taking a hot shower, the faster she walked. Her apartment wasn’t really that much further. The nights were getting colder, and Rachel shivered despite her jacket.
(More to come later)
At any rate, I thank both of ye for yer kind laud.