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hush.
Oct 6, 2006 21:40:52 GMT -5
Post by Scraith on Oct 6, 2006 21:40:52 GMT -5
An older piece that I wasn't sure made much sense when I'd written it originally, as it just sort of...came out. I've made a few minor edits so it flows better. ------------------------------- happiness. it's too bright, too in-your-face. though it's oh-so-attractive. a pretty face, just something to look at.
sadness, however, is softer. toned down. calm, at rest, peaceful. dark, but it's nicer that way. sleepy, relaxing. go to sleep, darling. life is sad, but somehow, strangely, can be comfortable.
a few tiny lights in a room of dark give enough light to see. enough to see where you are, maybe where you're going. enough to live by. less harsh than a room full of bright.
quiet, unassuming, not really expecting much from anyone. content with what one gets, silently wishing for the rest. never complaining...
happy is too bright. when something goes wrong, it explodes.
sadness just fades away. when everything is wrong, it doesn't really make a difference.
just fades into the blackness with the passing of time.
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josh
Newbie
Posts: 40
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hush.
Oct 13, 2006 12:08:09 GMT -5
Post by josh on Oct 13, 2006 12:08:09 GMT -5
Really not much to it. I suppose it's alright, it seems full of sentiment but I think that's it. A love poem is hard to create and be original while doing it. Most of love poetry should just be kept close to your heart and mind and shared with the one(s) you love.
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hush.
Oct 13, 2006 15:32:05 GMT -5
Post by Scraith on Oct 13, 2006 15:32:05 GMT -5
Agreed about love poems, though this is meant to be in the Life section of this rather than the Love All the same, it's definately not one of the better things I've written. Can't seem to find a whole lot that I've already written that's half decent to post here. (Hence why I should start really writing again.) Thanks for the feedback
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josh
Newbie
Posts: 40
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hush.
Oct 13, 2006 18:40:45 GMT -5
Post by josh on Oct 13, 2006 18:40:45 GMT -5
No worries, all in a boring days work.
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josh
Newbie
Posts: 40
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hush.
Oct 13, 2006 18:47:19 GMT -5
Post by josh on Oct 13, 2006 18:47:19 GMT -5
Mind critiquing mine? lol.
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