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Post by Suzi on Aug 11, 2005 13:13:13 GMT -5
I'm not good at poetry so this was just for practice.
I said you’re forgotten You’re out of my head But I’m just pretending As more tears I shed
I try to forget Try to push you away But you hold my thoughts My mind will not stray
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Post by Shades on Aug 11, 2005 13:15:45 GMT -5
That was extremly well done, I don't like poems that rhyme because they sound goofy, but the way you wrote that was beautiful.
-Shades, Admin.
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Post by Suzi on Aug 11, 2005 13:18:23 GMT -5
Aww thanks. I don;t like it much so I'm glad you do.
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Post by Shades on Aug 11, 2005 13:18:57 GMT -5
Well, you should give yourself more credit.
-Shades, Admin.
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Post by Suzi on Aug 11, 2005 13:20:11 GMT -5
If you get to know me, you'll soon find out I have low self esteem and find it hard to think my own work is any good.
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Post by Shades on Aug 11, 2005 13:23:29 GMT -5
You're your own worst critic, thats what my teachers tell me, and I think it goes the same for you.
-Shades, Admin.
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Post by Suzi on Aug 11, 2005 13:26:05 GMT -5
Definetely for me. At one site I go to, people think I'm one of the best writers there, but I don't see it. There's some fantastic writers.
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Phantom Rose
Newbie
Love is the red of the rose on your coffin door...
Posts: 25
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Post by Phantom Rose on Aug 28, 2005 16:52:07 GMT -5
Very nice poem, the rhymes don't seem forced at all, which is the problem with a lot of ones that rhyme. =D Don't be so critical of yourself.
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Post by Shades on Aug 28, 2005 17:32:19 GMT -5
My thoughts exactly sooooooo many poems that ryhme seemed forced and goofy, but this one is nice and smooth.
-Shades, Admin.
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