Post by [torn.in.two] on Apr 12, 2006 11:51:29 GMT -5
I've never had to think before,
To learn to breathe again,
I've never thought I hated you,
But then I'd never felt the pain.
I cannot help but wonder,
Couldn't it have been a dream?
But I know that when you pinch me,
I won't waken with a scream.
I'm already wide awake,
Lying silently in the dark,
Listening to a steady heartbeat,
That's when another argument starts.
I hear a glass shatter on the kitchen floor,
A scream and then a thud,
I mutely cry and whimper,
As I picture all the blood.
I clutch Teddy close to my chest,
And try and hum a tune,
Forget the horror lying down the stairs,
But I know I'll have to face it soon.
Crawling from my safety net,
The bed that I call mine,
Another glass is smashed below
As the clocks begin to chime.
As the stairswell creaks and the monster lurks,
I panic in my head,
A small child, lost, alone,
Pale, a ghostly living dead.
I shrink into the darkness,
A cupboard, a hole, a hide.
I squeeze so tight as the bedroom door opens,
And the monster steps inside.
In my mind I am a tiger,
And I fight the demons away,
I save myself and the loved ones,
The rat in the corner, she saves the day.
But I know I'm not the tiger,
And there's nothing I can do,
I'm still hiding in the corner as it speaks
"Start Running, Im Coming For You."
Im drenched in a terrified sweat,
And my breathing is so harsh,
I sit and wait for it to leave,
And wish the minutes past.
Eventually it turns and leaves,
With a slammed door goodbye.
The pain bleeding through my chest,
It drowns me and I die.
I thought you loved me and that was it,
That "Unconditional Love"
I was supposed to be you're little angel,
Sent to you from above.
But here I am scared of you,
You're in my nightmares yet my dreams,
No-body would have guessed your problems,
Life isn't always what it seems.
I'm writing you this poem,
as the pills they take effect,
My writing is getting shaky,
Just one of my many defects.
I loved you so much but you hurt me bad,
And I can't forgive that sin,
It's not just the violence that i can't cope with,
It's the empty bottles of gin.
I hope you get my last goodbye,
My thoughts about no other,
Even after all the pain,
I still love you, my dearest mother.