Post by vermilition on Feb 20, 2006 9:01:29 GMT -5
This is an essay im doing for an English folio, enjoy.
Theme Parks, Value for Money?
Have you ever felt conned at a theme park or arcade? I’m pretty sure that you have. It’s a pretty common occurrence nowadays. For example you go to the town shows, you know the kind I mean, the annual fairground which has been building itself and hype for weeks, and guess what, its nothing like what you expect. There are a couple of blown up bouncy castles in the corner and a Waltzer and that’s it.
I personally have never been to the main theme parks such as M+D’s or Alton Towers as me and my family think of them as a waste of time. It is supposedly brilliant, but let’s take a minute to visualise this amazing tourist attraction.
The line for your ride is massive as in longer than the Egyptian Nile and is filled with your classic characters, their more predictable than the characters than your favourite television stars. The five slash six year old that wants to go on every ride he can see, you will also notice his/ her mother who is having a major problem trying to control the child. I’m pretty sure that if you look closely you’ll see the hairs fall from her head due to stress, this was her idea of the perfect family vacation, how ironic that she is the first one to snap under the tension. Also there is the group of young idiots larking around in the front, although they can be found anywhere in the streets of modern Britain they seem to multiply in these conditions, for every decent person in your line there is two of this species of idiot. Making more noise than a hundred fighter jets they swarm from ride to ride in their group, swearing in the faces of young children no older than two and disrespecting anyone different to themselves.
As if the sights were not enough the smell, no the odour of the carnival would send a wild animal running from the area. The body odour of the unfit workers entrapping itself between the cilia in your nostrils. The wafting smell of the hot dog or burger van as it reheats the fat from yesterday and burns the hot dogs left the last town the fair visited. That’s right, the hot dog that man in front of you is chomping upon is from the same package that was opened in the town twenty miles up the road.
As if the cooked food was bad enough the tooth killer itself is floating around the fair ground. The pink fluff, the pink cloud, the names are numerous, the forms many but the reality is all too similar. Candyfloss is the unhealthiest piece of garbage ever invented. I personally believe it would be healthier for us to pick up a stick of butter sprinkle it with three teaspoons of sugar and chomp our way to the end of the butter stick. For all those that have just been totally shocked it is my duty to report that there is method to my madness, at least with the butter stick idea there is flavour in the snack. Candy floss is the only edible substance in the world that tastes of cardboard. Every time my brother takes a bite out of the pink fluff I watch with horror as his eyes swell with sugar and he swallows the pink ichor of the dissolving candyfloss.
If I am to look back into the deep vaults of my memory I can find a small space of time when I am happy at the fair ground. Ladies and gentlemen I present the humble and ever spectacular Bumper car. Probably created by someone who had a need for speed and a tendency to hit people, it is a wonder that these things aren’t illegal. There is a sick twisted form of adrenalin fuelled fun in hitting someone with a miniature car that can’t go over ten miles per hour. Somehow, someway it is a brilliant time killer.
So you can make your own mind up by yourself as you walk under the Alton Towers entrance arch with your wallet in hand on the question “Are theme parks value for money?”
Theme Parks, Value for Money?
Have you ever felt conned at a theme park or arcade? I’m pretty sure that you have. It’s a pretty common occurrence nowadays. For example you go to the town shows, you know the kind I mean, the annual fairground which has been building itself and hype for weeks, and guess what, its nothing like what you expect. There are a couple of blown up bouncy castles in the corner and a Waltzer and that’s it.
I personally have never been to the main theme parks such as M+D’s or Alton Towers as me and my family think of them as a waste of time. It is supposedly brilliant, but let’s take a minute to visualise this amazing tourist attraction.
The line for your ride is massive as in longer than the Egyptian Nile and is filled with your classic characters, their more predictable than the characters than your favourite television stars. The five slash six year old that wants to go on every ride he can see, you will also notice his/ her mother who is having a major problem trying to control the child. I’m pretty sure that if you look closely you’ll see the hairs fall from her head due to stress, this was her idea of the perfect family vacation, how ironic that she is the first one to snap under the tension. Also there is the group of young idiots larking around in the front, although they can be found anywhere in the streets of modern Britain they seem to multiply in these conditions, for every decent person in your line there is two of this species of idiot. Making more noise than a hundred fighter jets they swarm from ride to ride in their group, swearing in the faces of young children no older than two and disrespecting anyone different to themselves.
As if the sights were not enough the smell, no the odour of the carnival would send a wild animal running from the area. The body odour of the unfit workers entrapping itself between the cilia in your nostrils. The wafting smell of the hot dog or burger van as it reheats the fat from yesterday and burns the hot dogs left the last town the fair visited. That’s right, the hot dog that man in front of you is chomping upon is from the same package that was opened in the town twenty miles up the road.
As if the cooked food was bad enough the tooth killer itself is floating around the fair ground. The pink fluff, the pink cloud, the names are numerous, the forms many but the reality is all too similar. Candyfloss is the unhealthiest piece of garbage ever invented. I personally believe it would be healthier for us to pick up a stick of butter sprinkle it with three teaspoons of sugar and chomp our way to the end of the butter stick. For all those that have just been totally shocked it is my duty to report that there is method to my madness, at least with the butter stick idea there is flavour in the snack. Candy floss is the only edible substance in the world that tastes of cardboard. Every time my brother takes a bite out of the pink fluff I watch with horror as his eyes swell with sugar and he swallows the pink ichor of the dissolving candyfloss.
If I am to look back into the deep vaults of my memory I can find a small space of time when I am happy at the fair ground. Ladies and gentlemen I present the humble and ever spectacular Bumper car. Probably created by someone who had a need for speed and a tendency to hit people, it is a wonder that these things aren’t illegal. There is a sick twisted form of adrenalin fuelled fun in hitting someone with a miniature car that can’t go over ten miles per hour. Somehow, someway it is a brilliant time killer.
So you can make your own mind up by yourself as you walk under the Alton Towers entrance arch with your wallet in hand on the question “Are theme parks value for money?”